Sometimes I lie...
I’m sure you do too.
When folks ask me, "How are you?" my auto-reply is "Fine." Even if I'm not. It's not to be decietful, but there's this culture of
- positivity excluding all difficult emotions and
- failure as enmity with everything God-like.
We’ve convinced ourselves that perfection is the absence of failure instead of the product of it. It’s something we’ve got to stop.
It’s something I’ve got to stop... and today.
| it's okay to not be ‘okay.’
Emotions are emotions. Plain and simple.
There is no such thing as a good or bad emotion. I repeat, there are NO ‘good’ or ‘bad’ emotions. Only emotions.
They might not ‘feel’ good, but that doesn’t mean these emotions are bad to experience. It’s our actions or reactions based on those emotions that can harm us or the ones we love, but it is ok to not be ‘okay.’
“For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” -Psalm 30:5
That’s KJV, but feel free to pull any other version you like. It doesn't matter. None of them say being angry is sinful and evil nor do they say we shouldn’t weep because it is weakness. (Remember, Hannah’s sorrow touch God’s heart).
One thing I learned from my most painful experiences is that I would beat myself up more for being emotional about the situation than I would about the situation itself. It was like I was angry for being human.
What sense does that make?
None. And as soon as I realized there was no such thing as a bad emotion I decided I wasn’t going to let anyone make me feel bad for having them.
| false positive
So I’ve decided if something makes me upset I’m going to voice it.
If I’m uncomfortable with a situation I’m going to speak up about it.
If I’m disappointed, sad or frustrated you can bet you’re going to hear about it.
Now, don’t plan on me throwing a pity party and inviting the entire block because that’s not the approach I’m taking. I’m talking about expressing my feelings so I can get to the root cause of what’s motivating them and address it. This turns every path into a positive experience instead of the goal being just a positive outcome.
| No more false positivity.
Because simple math teaches us that a positive mulpitlied by a negative is a negative. So if my actions and emotions are not aligned in truth and are polar opposites, I’m trapping myself in negative experiences, energy or outcomes.
This doesn’t mean if I feel sad or hurt my action needs to hurt others. It means I should be honest about these emotions; letting them reverberate in truth. Because the only way you can turn a negative into a positive is to be truthful in that negative.
Don’t skip this step! You hear me?!
I don’t want you to leave this page without saying three things aloud (even if you have to whisper):
- There is no such thing as a ‘bad’ emotion.
- My feelings and emotions are powerful.
- My feelings and emotions will be respected as I respect other’s.
Once we learn to reject ‘false positivity’ we learn the true beauty in being a human being—exploring the entire spectrum of emotions.
Because, as a wise soul once said, “People don’t remember what you said. They remember how you made them feel.”