Lord, Break My Heart
When I say ‘I've been there,’ I actually mean I am there.
That place where you find yourself still attached to people in your past... and your past. There's this sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach that a relationship or season has served its purpose and it's time to move on.
Still, you keep finding excuses to linger. It's when you’re in that place that you sometimes need God to deliver the ‘bad’ news.
Break My Heart
I get how complicated it can be. I'm not talking about the repeat offenders in your life that you've already sworn off. Those were easy detachments justified by some severe wrong doings in your eyes. I'm talking about these comforting/able relationships.
The passive, yet unrelenting ones.
You feel like these are (and they may very well be) good people, but God doesn't just want you to have good relationships; He wants you to have Godly ones.
It's probably been one of my most difficult and exposing prayer requests, but I asked God to 'break' my heart.
I've tried long enough to make my heart be what I wanted it to be, love who I wanted it to love and do what I wanted it to do. It took me a while before realizing I needed a fresh start. I needed someone to step in and reshape it into what it was designed to be.
To do that, I had to get to a contrite heart and a broken spirit.
Beauty in Brokeness
Unfortunately, some of us have experienced heartbreak by man and it left us vulnerable, jaded and deeply hurt. It seemed like it would be a lifetime (it at all) before we healed.
The difference between this heartbreak and God's is that His focus is to expose the areas were we need Him most; areas where we can connect and grow with Him.
Our brokenness is where He shows us Who was and Who will always be there.
“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.” -Psalms 51:17 KJV
If you've been in or are at that point where you know your heart wants true reconciliation with God, it’s time to be honest with yourself.
It won't be painless or simple and it may not hurt any less than the heartbreak from man. Still, remind yourself that through this process you're ridding your heart of people and experiences that, although having played a significant part in your past, aren't meant to extend into your journey ahead.
It’s through your brokenness that God reaveals your beauty.